💬 12 phrases to never say in stressful situations – and their powerful alternatives

Under pressure, our words sometimes go beyond our intentions. In coaching, we often observe that stress reveals our automatic communication patterns—those reflexes that can, depending on the circumstances, strengthen trust or, on the contrary, destroy it.

Take the example of a client manager: in times of tension, their communication becomes more direct, sometimes even aggressive. The problem? These knee-jerk reactions can sabotage the relationship and demotivate the team.

Here are 4 phrases to avoid (and their more constructive versions) to incorporate into your next coaching session.

❌ 1. «You are exaggerating.»

➡️ Why avoid: this phrase invalidates the other person's emotion and closes the dialogue.

✅ Instead, say: "This is definitely stressful. How can we reduce the pressure together?"«

❌ 2. «Why hasn’t it been done yet?»

➡️ Why avoid: it puts the other person on the defensive and fuels guilt.

✅ Instead, say: «Where are you? Do you need support?»

❌ 3. «This is not acceptable.»

➡️ Why avoid: it creates fear without opening up a solution.

✅ Rather say: "I see what's wrong. Let's look together at how to improve it?"«

❌ 4. «I’ll do it myself.»

➡️ Why avoid: It blocks learning and cuts off accountability.

✅ Rather say: «Let’s do it together once so you can manage it later.»

🧩 Discover in the complete infographic the 8 other phrases to banish – and their powerful alternatives to calm communication under stress.

🔄 How to use this tool in coaching

Have your client observe their verbal reflexes in stressful situations. Explore the link between leadership, stress, and relational posture. Implement concrete role-plays to translate theory into action. Provide simple scripts for high-risk emotional situations.

🧠 To remember

Pressure is never an excuse for harshness. Language builds managerial culture. A good leader speaks less to be right and more to create a framework of trust.

👉 And you, which of these phrases do you hear most often in stressful situations?